We would all like to be more effective – to get the really important stuff done effortlessly, to simply do the things that we don’t like doing or want to do without any distraction, to get much more done to the very best of our ability in far less time and have plenty more time to do all the things that we keep promising ourselves that we will do – spend much more time doing the things that we really and truly enjoy. There you have it – my definition of personal effectiveness.

How far removed is that from your ordinary daily life? Let’s start with the first big stumbling block that most of us have in our lives: we all have things that we know that we have to do but that we keep putting off. A classic example: a client, his company’s Chief Executive, has to write his CEO Report for his Board every three months. He knows that he has to do it, he knows when it has to be done, so he starts working on it two weeks before each deadline. Wrong! He starts thinking that he must do it, thinking that he really finds it a big bore and knowing, like every other quarter, he will rush it in the hour before the deadline. This doesn’t stop him taking out the notes and reports he needs a couple of weeks beforehand. It doesn’t stop him putting them in his briefcase night after night, feeling guilty each following morning that his briefcase returns with him to the office unopened, gradually feeling more and more stressed out at the level of his own ineffectiveness, until he has no choice but to sit down and do it. It takes him around sixty minutes – but how much time has he wasted, how much energy has he poured down the drain in the days and weeks that he agonizes over writing the damn thing?

Which is better – to do something or to think about doing it (or worse, to think about how you don’t like doing it)? A child in kindergarten knows the answer to that question! But it seems that we adults don’t – we’d prefer to let our mind play tricks on us, because that’s what’s going on when you entertain useless, counter-productive thoughts about stuff that you should simply just do. So, when you find yourself prevaricating over something that you know you have to do, stop, clear your mind and either do it or decide when you’re going to do it and do nothing about it in the meantime. (We’ll talk about “clearing your mind” in a minute – I’ve decided not to do it just yet!!!)

Secondly, we all have really important things to do – that includes work, business and personal – but we often fill our time with crap. We’d prefer to read emails, that were written for no one to read, instead of taking a sensible and enjoyable lunch hour (I think the busier that we think we are, the more needed we feel). We wallow in the newspaper’s inner pages – where we read about assaults, murders, rapes, child abuse, stuff that no one should bother reading – instead of getting our work done and, as a result, we’re always late picking up our children from cr

Willie Horton’s acclaimed two-day personal development seminars have been running for thirteen years. He teaches that a clear and present state of mind creates extra-ordinary personal and business success. His vast expertise is now available in his Online Workshop at Gurdy.Net. His website also offers daily free personal development video seminars, articles and a Free Personal Development Ezine published every Monday morning.
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There is nothing like hiring a real self-esteem coach to help you raise your self-esteem, but if you’re not able to hire a coach (for whatever reason), here are some coaching questions to help you raise your self-esteem on your own.

Why do you want higher self-esteem? What is it that you would be able to do/be/have if you had higher self-esteem that you cannot do/be/have now?

How is your self-esteem at the moment? (There are many simple tests online that you can try out if you want. For example, try the test at　http://www.livmiyagawa.com/self-esteem-quiz.html)

In which area is your self-esteem stronger, in which area is it weaker?

In which area would you like to develop your self-esteem the most?

What is your specific goal in raising your self-esteem? How will you measure it and be able to know for sure when you have reached it?

Have you managed to reach any goal that you set for yourself in the past? What method did you use to reach it? Could you use a similar method to reach your goal of raising your self-esteem?

What techniques/exercises do you know of that you could use to raise your self-esteem? How could you find out some new ones?

Do you know anyone that you could team up with to support you in your quest for higher self-esteem?

When (at what moments/in which situations) do you feel really great?

What happened during your life up to now that has shaped your self-esteem? (e.g. Influences from family, friends, school, society, work etc.)

What are you good at? What makes you a wonderful person?

What compliments have others given you?

What are you grateful of?

The journey towards higher self-esteem is different for each individual. If you want personalised help with raising your self-esteem, please visit www.livmiyagawa.com.

Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach

Liv Miyagawa, The Self-Esteem Coach, helps people all over the world to raise their self-esteem and to reach their personal goals. She opens people’s eyes to their own strengths and helps them to figure out what it really is that they want to get out of life. Liv helps people to find out exactly what steps they need to take to reach their goals, and she supports them and motivates them on their journey towards a more fulfilling future. http://www.livmiyagawa.com/
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We’ve all heard the old adage “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all the small stuff,” but the reality is that many of us are very affected by minor road bumps along the road of life. It is a drive that is not always smooth, and we should not expect it to be. Things happen, including not only those major crises but also smaller complaints. The kids don’t always cooperate as we all know, and the list of things that could throw a kink in our day only begins there. Sometimes the cashier at the coffee shop adds the wrong sweetener, and sometimes the store has run out of the product you’re looking for. If you remain aware of how you respond to these frustrations you will be surprised at how readily you react in ways that are less than productive.

The reactions you have to these minor frustrations can be an eye-opener to your preparedness for a more major catastrophe. In monitoring your reactions to day-to-day difficulties you can notice where you need work. Maybe you’re quick to anger, maybe you give up easily, and maybe you feel a situation is hopeless straight from the beginning. The reactions you have in these smaller challenges are often magnified when a more intense problem falls in our path. One caveat: don’t be so frustrated by the flaws you may find in your reaction that you are unable to address them productively.

Once you see where you have room for improvement when it comes to reaction to life’s difficulties you will be able to better yourself and grow as a person. Learning to step back and notice how unimportant it truly is that they didn’t hold the pickle, that you can take it off of your own burger, can be the most empowering and strengthening realization. Once you let go of these things, life will feel much smoother. And letting go of these daily stresses will make it so that when a crisis does become a part of your life you are more prepared to face the challenge.

You can’t prevent the fact that life happens, and not everything runs smoothly. But I do believe that we all have the power to alter our reactions to frustrations, both small and large. As you practice being mindful and learn to be calm you will reap benefits you never even imagined. The little difficulties life presents us with each day are practice for the time that the car wheel falls off on the highway. If you teach yourself to react less and just accept life as it happens you will be amazed at how strong you can truly be in times of crisis.

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Most people tell themselves that they will quit when they are ready; this is really just another way of saying that it’s going to be too hard. They promise themselves that this is their last packet, that they’ll quit after the holidays or next week or next month or next year. This is only a way to ease the guilt of smoking but it doesn’t get you any closer to quitting.

So, don’t make promises to yourself that you don’t intend to keep; quit smoking cold turkey right now and never have another cigarette. Tell yourself that you don’t smoke anymore and keep repeating it until your subconscious mind believes you. Now destroy all your cigarettes; cut them up, break them into little pieces, stomp them into the dirt. Don’t leave yourself any cigarettes for “just in case”, and enjoy the destruction of the ones you have.

Without ready access to cigarettes, it will be easier to resist the urge to light up; unfortunately family and friends who smoke may not be all that easy on you. Unfortunately, those around you who smoke don’t really want you to succeed; it will make them look bad to themselves, so beware of saboteurs. You must be strong and not cave in when someone tells you that one more cigarette “won’t kill you”.

To succeed at quitting cold turkey you must keep making positive statements in your head (or even out loud, if that helps). Statements like “I am a non-smoker” and “I’m glad I don’t smoke anymore” are really positive messages to get into your head. Remind yourself how healthy you now are and how much extra money you have to buy whatever you want.

Think of ways to reward yourself for quitting; use rewards as often as you need to keep to your resolve to quit smoking cold turkey. Put what used to be your cigarette costs into a clear jar so you can track how well you are doing.

When you make the decision to quit smoking cold turkey, you will be in for a few rough weeks as the toxins and nicotine work it’s way out of your system. But, if you can tough it through, it will get better. Many people find success when using stop smoking aids – either those prescribed by their doctor or found over the counter. But you have to be careful about which ones you use as some of them may not be right for you and others can even be harmful.

Did you know that people who use quit smoking aids have a much higher chance of stopping smoking? If you are trying to gain the http://www.website-articles.net/addiction/benefitsofquittingsmoking.html cold turkey, there are many aids that can help but you have to be careful to choose the one(s) that
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Get up early.

To be able to accomplish this and still avoid losing any precious sleep, you can go to bed just a half hour earlier to get up a half hour earlier than you usually do.

What this got to do with self improvement?

For different people the answer can vary slightly. To start with you need to fully awaken yourself and get rid of early morning sluggishness.

After you are completely alert step outside of your house and watch the sunrise. Nothing like the view of a fresh morning to set you out on your self improvement destination.

This simple but immensely satisfying act will lift your spirits and help with self improvement.

If you are unable to do this, take a brisk walk, jog or run depending upon what you prefer and what you are physically capable of.

Eat breakfast.

To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks.

If you are overly pressed for time you might try cereal and milk or even a few pieces of fresh fruit would do.

Any of these are better alternatives than skipping breakfast.

Smile a lot.

When you go places, smile more at other people, even if you find it a bit difficult at first. Just curve your lips up a bit as you make eye contact with another human being.

An effective goal is written.

The primary purpose of your self improvement worksheet.

This is extremely helpful and essential because there will be times when your self improvement goals will make you uncomfortable and you may lose site of them.

When this happens, you need to have them written down to keep yourself on track and accountable. Posting your goals on the refrigerator, bulletin board, or in your planner ensures that you will be reminded of them on a daily basis.

Review them on a regular basis.

You must review your self improvement goals in order to stay on track. Check out your worksheet on the schedule you set. Reviewing them causes you to commit to their achievement.

According to studies, only 1% of the population actually understands how to effectively set goals. This is the reason why so many New Year’s resolutions are not followed.

And this is also why people keep failing at the very same goal. The desire to improve yourself is genuine, but the process you go about while seeking this desire is faulty. Then how can you achieve the self improvement results you want?

The positive results of achieving any goal are unforgettable. An individual’s failure to achieve is not because they are incompetent but because they simply do not know the process of success.

Have an effective self improvement worksheet. Follow what is written, be patient and celebrate your success to come.

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