I’m Auntie.  No longer friend and playmate.  Just Auntie.

We used to share the same room – bunk beds.  I’d sleep on the bottom bunk.  She’d help me try different remedies for my snoring.  We used to take turns reading aloud to one another.  We used to play board games, i.e. Scrabble for Juniors, Monopoly Junior, Chutes and Ladders, Guess Who?, Operation, Candy Land,  and card games, Racko and Uno, to name a few.  We’d play with Barbie and Barbie’s My House, Barbie’s Surfs Up Pool, Barbie and Kelly’s Supermarket Playset.  We’d go to the movies.  Grab a bite to eat.  Go shopping.  Watch cartoons and TV.  Buy gifts for the family.  Buy gifts for the dog, Ms. Jackie Robinson.  Ahhhhh, those were the days.

This may be the last Thanksgiving I drive 2-1/2 to 3 hours each way to have dinner Thursday, veg out on TV and/or shop on Friday, put up Xmas decorations on Saturday,  return home on Sunday OR go to church on Sunday and return home on Monday.

She has her own room now – and I’ve got a guest room.  This year and last, no reading aloud together, however we played Wii.  No board games – she plays with her Gameboy.  Last year I got to sit with her at the movie.  This year I couldn’t – she made a date to see the movie with her friends.  (I have to admit they had made plans to see it previously and one of her friends was ill so it was rescheduled to this weekend.)   And I had to make a good argument as to WHY I could attend the same movie at the same time they were going!!!

Once I got home tonight, I phoned my good friend Jane, mother of my 2 godsons, Adam and Joey, 22 and 19, respectively, because I knew SHE understood what I was going through, being a mother and all.

She said, “Yes” she said, “What you’re describing is kind of like being a mother.  That relationship, that bond.”

She reminded me I went through the same thing with the boys.  Either I don’t remember it feeling this lousy OR it didn’t feel this lousy.

And as she continued talking with me, I realized, YES, I went through some of this same letting go with them. When it became no longer “COOL” to go to the movies with their “Auntie”.  (Yes, we all know I’m the god-mom, however when they were younger they didn’t distinguish and we didn’t correct them.)  We no longer had play dates either.  Then they got girlfriends and learned to drive.  And because their Mom and I are friends and I continue to visit with HER, they continue to see me and I them, so I am still in their lives.  (They are only a 20 minutes drive away.)

Then Jane said, “Find SOME way to continue being in her life.  She said, “You’re the one that’s always telling me it’s all about family and relationships.”

Once she said that, I remembered I had been thinking on the drive home of alternatives to keep in touch with my niece in case I decide not to make the trip next year.  I thanked Jane for reminding me of that.

Here are the ideas I came up with on the way home:   I thought of sending her an e-card on the 29th of each month from the ‘Celebrate the Date’ series and engage her in a discussion about them.  (She was born on the 29th.)  She has a cellphone so I thought to send her a text message on another day at least once a month.  Those two things are a start.

Additionally, she says she wants to be a lawyer.  Her mom says the 1st African American Woman Supreme Court Justice.  I asked her if she was on the debate team at her school because debate is one of the skills of a good attorney.  She said she knew lawyers needed to be good debaters AND that they didn’t have a debate team at her school, nor at the high school she is planning to attend.  So perhaps she and I can locate a debate team in her area.

So, in the world of No Out There, she’s not doing anything to me.  She’s not to blame.  She’s not at fault.  AND neither am I.  It’s just what’s happening.  And I get to decide how to be with that.  My decision at this moment is to beef up my presence on a monthly basis.

AND I’ve just thought of something else we could do together – which would mean I’d have to make the trip next year.  According to her mother, my niece likes to cook.  I’m a pretty good cook, even though I don’t too much any more.  IF she still enjoys to cook next year – her tastes change quickly – I can teach her some of the fun things I used to like to make, i.e,. hors d’oeuvres, finger sandwiches, de-boned Chicken stuffed with dressing, Farfel, Turkey Tetrazzini, etc.  We could plan a meal for Saturday and invite her maternal grandparents or even some of her friends.  Maybe even have a girlfriends party.   Hmmmm . . .

End of an Era?  Maybe not.  What do YOU think?

Today, September 11, 2008,
my parents,
Elma and McFarland Bragg, Sr.
celebrate 60 Years of Marriage

My mother sighed the other day saying, “September used to be such a nice month.  Now it’s not anymore.”

I know her sigh was about MORE than the 9/11 national tragedy that this day has come to commemorate.

  It’s also about the fact that her 3rd child, my only sister, Debora was cremated on Sept. 11th 10 years ago.  She passed September 8, 1998.   And THIS September 8th, we buried my sister-in-law Debra’s, father.

So, I have a HUGE request for those of you reading this, please do me a favor:  assist me in acknowledging my parent’s phenomenal achievement, 60 years of marriage, especially in this day and age, by going to the Chicago Tribune’s Announcement page and offering your CONGRATULATIONS!

It doesn’t have to be much, it could even be one word of: WOW, Congratulations, What an Achievement, U ROCK or something to that effect would be GREAT!

My Mom likes to give advice so you can even ask her (and Dad too) how they did it!

Click HERE:  This takes you to the CHICAGO TRIBUNE CELEBRATIONS page where you can post your greeting.  ASSIST ME in making this AN ANNIVERSARY TO REMEMBER!!!

Later this afternoon I’ll have the PROFILE completed and more photos (there was a snafu and I wasn’t able to get to the page until TODAY!)

If you’d like to see that information either bookmark the page or return here and click on the link above.

Thanks so much.

I Love You As You Are!

When we spoke late last night, She also told me they’d received the Anniversary card from the President back in September. I was aghast. She hadn’t talked to me about that either. It was their 59th wedding anniversary. September 11th. Can you imagine having that date commemorate your Wedding day? Who knew?

Here’s a copy of the request I sent to the White House for my parent’s anniversary and mom’s birthday cards:

My parents, Elma and McFarland Sr., will be celebrating their 59th Wedding Anniversary on 9-11-07 My mother will be 80 this November 11th, Veteran’s Day (which she reminds everyone each year that we get a holiday because of her!!!). My father is 83

I am requesting that your office either phone my parents on Tuesday, September 11th in honor of that achievement, send a belated Anniversary wish, or overnight a card to them here in Chicago.
After recently finding out about this opportunity, I finally got to the right place on the .gov website to place the request for an anniversary card and birthday cards today. I read that the request lead-time is 6 weeks and did submit them anyway, however, they may not be alive to receive them next year.

They drive from Arizona each year to visit their only granddaughter in Peoria, IL and spend the summer in Chicago. They’ve been doing this for the past 11 years and this year is the first time I’ve noticed their age and realize they may not be around to celebrate another Wedding Anniversary together.

I know it would mean a lot to them to get an anniversary card from the President of the United States of America . My Dad would really be excited!

In addition to 9-11 marking the anniversary of the Twin Tower attack, for my parents and our family, it is also the anniversary of the day my sister Deborah was cremated in 1996.
I just thought given the tragedies being remembered on that day it would be nice to commemorate an honorable achievement representing family values, commitment and love.

Thank you for whatever you can do on such short notice.

Nice flat crispy bacon, soft scrambled eggs and creamy smooth grits which even he admitted had too much salt.

We worked closing in the block window bay for her new powder room. There was the usual arguing but it was a good effort. Pictures tomorrow. Wish I had some pictures from when we began . . .

Cousin Cheryl update: She’s not leaving on Saturday returning home to Arizona along with her stepson Meech and his family. Don’t know all the particulars yet.

I shucked corn and Mama made fried corn. Popeye’s provided the protein and leftover garden salad provided the greenery.

Annie came by. Mama gave her a quart of homemade soup and 2 of the Pineapple-Mango Upside down individual cakes. One for her and one for Kendall.

And I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.